BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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