finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
