Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
