omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize