I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize