I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
