I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
