i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
