So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
