I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
