I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
