Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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