so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
