ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
