When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
