what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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