we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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