I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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