she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
