Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
