Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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