you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
