I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
What a dumb baby whore.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
