I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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