He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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