On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
