problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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