All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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