We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
