too bad you live with your parents still
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
