she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
