Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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