i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
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