this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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