tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
