I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
