You really coming over, don't trick.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
