oh god the rape fog is back!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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