what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
