What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
