If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
