bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
