Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
