so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
