Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
