He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
