we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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