You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
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i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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