i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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