ugly people sure do ruin things
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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