Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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