are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
