i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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