is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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